Since I haven't posted for a bit here is a quick synopsis of the month or part of it. Our book club picked back up/revisiting Women Who Run With Wolves. Dinner, Chapter One, wine and discussion of all sorts. A week of driving the Mr. to work each day due to the mismanagement of Human Resource Dept at his work and BMV all relating to the deer colliding with work truck. That resulted in lunch at a hole in the wall Mexican place and a small greek place we had been wondering about (both outstanding) and visits to a new library and pawn shop. Also led to a fun telephone conversation with a friend from afar as I sat waiting for the Mr. to finish a meeting.
We finally moved into our almost completed master bedroom. We lack carpet and closet organizers. We celebrated Thanksgiving, I am creating homemade Christmas cards which is my artwork for the month. I received a small inspirational art piece from an artist/blogger I follow and sent something in return. We are planning in impromptu gathering after Christmas with as many sisters and brothers that can make it here.
A horrible headache woke me from sleep early this morning. Remaining in bed wasn't an option as doing so was just exasperating the situation. While swishing mouthwash and making coffee in my achy foul mood I became aware of the tight, crunched up feeling of my body. Though I had no inclination to do anything whatsoever a thought popped into my head.
Go to your mat and practice some yoga.
I spit out the mouthwash then churlishly stepped into the dark room and onto my mat. Each slow movement revealed cracking joints, creaks and crunching sounds that made me wonder and muscles that felt as if they had atrophied. Yes it had been way too long since I had nourished myself with my yoga practice. I wanted to quit but kept on soon feeling the muscles warm and stretch, all the cramped aches and pains dissolve into nothingness as I suddenly realized the headache was gone.
I then settled into a few moments of sitting in gratitude. That led to a few moments of prayer for others which led to a few moments of a pure quiet mind.
The morning was looking better. Sat down with a steaming cup of coffee to journal. I was feeling pretty good. Finished with journaling I fired up the pc, checked email then began catching up on news. Somehow that allowed my inner critique to rear her ugly head. I wasn't up to that shit so soon. So I headed to the shower but as I was waiting for the water to heat I got caught up in my image in the mirror. The negative talk wanted to begin but I decided, no, not this time. As I stood looking at my naked body I began naming the parts that I liked. Then expressed everything I appreciated that my body did for me. All the strengths as well as the weaknesses. I started reading my body like a memoir. My story in each line, wrinkle and scar.
As I faced that girl/woman in the mirror all I could say was "YOU FUCKING ROCK".
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If I am going to continue to blog I am going to a new venue. I spent 45 minutes writing a post. Only half of it showed when I hit post. Deleted it because it wouldn't make sense and I was not going to try rewriting from memory! This has been a regular occurrence this past month. I don't know if it is because I am only going with the free version or what.
What I do know is that I don't need this continual added frustration when it is difficult enough to produce written work. Might be a good idea to use a pen and paper for rough drafts from now on.
Sorry for wasting your time if you stopped in to read.
I am who I am, uniquely me.