"The ancestor of every action is a thought" Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last year at this time I had just started walking week-day mornings with someone I met that had stopped by my yard sale. We would meet at the park most week-day mornings after she dropped her son off at school and walk for an hour or so. We were slowly getting to know one another as we walked and talked. We ended up doing a 5k together on Thanksgiving. As we drifted into the new year weather was wicked and walks dwindled. I invited her to a theatre production I really wanted to see. We had dinner and drinks before the show. Seemed we had an enjoyable evening. Our walks became sporadic in the month or so following, partly weather. What I thought was a friendship developing just dwindled into nothing. I've thought about it off and on because I truly wondered why. We had a lot of commonalities. Both married, 50's, grown kids (she had a late in life kiddo who was 7yrs old/ I didn't) liked walking/running, staying active. But then I wondered if the "differences" were the things that left the friendship dead in the water. She had had a lucrative career, actually two, the last leaving her with a very generous separation package; a huge family that does things regularly together; spouses, kids, friends all gather for holidays, travel together for spring and fall breaks, run all manner of races at least once every year. Sisters that show up no matter what/ always. Her husband employed by a company that earns him triple figures. I on the other hand had been a stay at home mom with jobs whether part-time or a couple full time that filled the gaps but were always based around raising kids and the husbands career. We are doing fine but not swimming in money. I could care less about their money but was slightly envious of her relationship with her sisters. Our family is not only spread out but complicated as well. I guess I came into my own in this decade a whole lot differently than she. I've been taking a hard look at my own friendship skills. I probably have things to learn and room to grow in this area but not being to hard on myself because it takes two to build a friendship.
In between the employment search, daily chores and appointments as well as preparing for a spur of the moment yard sale, I finished this mixed media piece.
August is merging into September. The cooler temps and rain the past couple days would lead you to believe fall came early. Though it's nice to turn off the air conditioner and open windows, this city has become too noisy for restful sleep. I guess the police & fire blaring their sirens in the very early hours is the new alarm clock.
SOMETIMES WHAT YOU THINK IS YOUR "NEXT" SECOND CHANCE IS ACTUALLY THE EXPIRATION DATE".
Tuesday is the mild day of the week...no?....Monday everyone dreads, Wednesday hump day, Thursday is Friday Eve, Friday woohoo, weekend everyone looks forward to. I slid through this Tuesday turning my garden cukes into dill pickles (fingers crossed), watering trees, answering correspondence, trying to engage in strategic planning to add extra income to the Mr.'s from my quiet corner of the world.
My corner is full of books, drying herbs and flowers, harvested dandelions made into oil ready to make into balms and specialty oils. as well as a yoga mat and rocking chair. Easel holding two half finished works, art table littered with works in progress and various asundries scattered about. I type while the pc cooperates and the dog hangs out but not always quietly as she feels the need to chuff at me then howl. So I howl with her.
I seldom know the direction of the day. All of a sudden July arrived in all its sunny hot glory. The herb garden emerges slowly as the weeds assail the vegetables nearby. We bob and weave as we clear out piles of limestone pieces, large wooden spools, and various asundry while spreading grass seed in the bare spots of the lawn. We sip tequila and beer on the front porch in the evenings while the porch fans stir the breeze and we talk about the day as dreams get weaved. July is a complicated month for us. Celebrations and sadness. We can wallow in sadness or ride the waves of happy memories and open roads.. This year we embraced the memories but fore-went all the Memorials. We appreciate each and every one and the people that give of their thoughts, efforts and time. But this year we needed to step back. It's 16 years of constant reminders that Chad isn't here. Of revisiting the day we got the news he was gone. Not coming home to the celebration planned for him but torn from our lives. Gone. I want people to remember him but I don't want to constantly relive getting that call "on his/Chads cell phone" to stay where we were and wait for the army officer to arrive, to stand in the living room of my brother-in-law hearing how he/Chad was killed. Post 4th July, post 17th wedding anniversary 5th July(2003), Our son and our 3 other kid's brother killed in Iraq 7th July.
I was hacked many months ago, some arrogant being chose me from one of the many art//writing sites I follow and/or have purchased classes from. They stacked malware in my files, mocked me in emails and threatened to share all my personal info with ALL my contacts if I did not deposit $2400 in their bitcoin account. When I didn't respond it went down to $1200. And when I didn't respond I have no idea who if anyone received anything relating to me. I'm not that interesting so …… This did however really mess with my hard drive. Crap shoot when and if I can get online, let alone blog, research, check email or do a quick jump over to fb. I am in the process of trying to save pictures and making peace with letting other files go as I prepare for a new hard drive installation. On the bright side it does create space and provide fresh starts.
I'm Kim, I am who I am. Photography, writing, mixed-media art, gardening and travel, wit and wonder all serve in making me uniquely me.